You may hate all you want but you can't break this ice inside of me. I think if i were you i'd probably hate me too. (kidding)
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...life sucks...but it ain't that boring
this is really, really great, i guess i've found another reason to smile today...although it is still unclear but one thing's for sure it has given me yet another reason to live. sh*t, life sometimes really rockz!!!
well i'm feelin' tired today and awfully sick, i don't even feel like going to work. my head is aching like hell eventhough i already took some med. this morning I was thinking about marvin, yes the guy from my marvin the martian post. I was thinking what if i didn't became a stupid bitch at those times when we were still together then may be, i guess may be he's still mine up to this day. but i know i can't turn back time. He was the very reason why i ruined my life seven years ago. I thought losing him would be my end...end...end. then i started to forgot about everything that matters to me, i became drunk almost always, stoned at times and yes I was able to forgot about myself but not about marvin. I forgot how to love myself because i became so busy occupying myself with so many things so as i could forget him but i wasn't able to reach my goal. I woke up one day and found out that my life's already a hell of a mess. I've been living in hell for a couple of years I guess. then i said to myself that i really need to fix this broken life, if not whole even a part of it. so i've changed some things but one thing's for sure he remains to be a part of me.
HOW DO YOU DEFINE LIFE?
Life is one hell of a party, it ain't that boring but it still suckz!
- mayang-
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
in an attractive and well preserved body; better to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!!"
Ever since the day you ran away and left me lonely and cold, my life just hasn't been the same. When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go, I just broke down. Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice, cause the feeling that I feel within, no other man would ever make me feel so right. It's nice to smile when I get your phone call in mind, but I'd rather have you here with me right next to me, I miss the way you hold me tight.
i don't know why i'm feeling like this today, suddenly I said to my self that I'm going to leave this life. All of a sudden I wanted to leave everything behind. I don't know why, i feel so incomplete...yah...something's missing and I am going to find that missing piece. Oh! may be the reason why I'm feeling like this... is because everybody's leaving. For Gods sake I just hate 'Goodbyes', eventhough it is temporary. I don't think it's for me. Come to think of it, my bestfriend Rosanna is currently spending her sweetlife in Bohol. my other bestfriend/drinking buddy John is in Manila...i just feel so alone these days. I don't even have someone who can hang-out with me just to watch my favorite movie or eat my favorite halo-halo. Gosh, everybody's busy. My mothersucker Ladin is sooooo busy with her career and her lovelife too. Angie on the other hand is in Mandaue and is also working her ass out just to have a nice career. and also Desa, a system admin at a certain clinic uptown...she's busy too. Guess I am S-T-U-C-K...and alone!
got this from the internet, and after reading it I've said to myself this one's made for me...
after the heartbreak that I've experienced recently, guess here I am again...loving without expecting that someone to love me in return. i am blogging today about this someone who usually makes my heart beat twice as fast as it should be. i just love the way he smile eventhough it isn't for me...I kinda seem to love his t-shirts and his sneakers too (hehehe). Well, the fact still remains...he can never be mine (he is taken).
1. Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be.
2. Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later.
3. Cry if you want to. It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don’t want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.
4. Let go of mementos. Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong.
5. Don’t slip up and get together with your ex. When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you back and let’s face it, if things ended the relationship wasn’t perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things?
6. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying. Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won’t really miss.
7. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life.
8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.
Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Guess I will just stick to the game plan outlined above and before I know it I’ll be just fine.
(1:46 am), i am writing something about BOS (while there’s not much calls). He was one of my exe’s, a very funny and a happy go lucky guy. I used to call him ‘my skater boy’, because he loves to skates of course and he used to call me his ‘princez’ for no reason at all (hahaha). Bos also used to smoke dope and get stoned most of the time….(lol). He is full of dreams and even on our teenage days he is already running their family’s business (I used to be his secretary at those times…hehehe). We have a lot of things in common like the kind of music that he listens to, the sneakers that he loves, food that he usually cooked for me, magazines, CD’s, balut, batchoy, green mangga and a lot of other things. He used to go to some underground gig with some punk rock band playing their music till dawn. I’ve learned a lot of lessons about life from him. I considered him to be the most unbelievable person that I’ve ever met. The last time i’ve heard from Bos was that he was already married to his own cousin and that he already has a very cute baby boy. Well, of course I am happy for him. I received a text message from him one day, on his message he said that he is so proud of me. I don’t know what’s with that but I feel so great that day. I’m just glad that I am appreciated. thanks a lot bos.
This was posted on my other blog last October 20 2007
today is marvin’s birthday. Yes, I do remember it. marvin was my 7th boyfriend. It has been 8 years since we broke up, but up to this very day I dont think i’ve move on. I think I am trap in my past and it keeps on haunting me (sounds like a song…hehehe). Yah, but it’s true, up to this day I still wanted to be his girl though I know that it is no longer possible and it will never be. Vintoy and I are still friends inspite of what happened and eventhough I know his girlfriend hated me.
A basket case is slang for an emotionally unstable, dysfunctional or completely useless person. Originally, the word referred to an amputee, especially a soldier, who had lost all 4 limbs; it was coined during World War I.
Pop rocks and Coke is another from Greenday that I also love, I think this song is about being there for someone…and the title is kinda a joke, because it could mean being dependent on drugs too But, I’m going to live in my own little dreamworld and pretend it is about the first meaning, coz it’s such a sweet song
And the best song of all: When I come around
I heard you crying loud,
all the way across town
You’ve been searching for that someone,
and it’s me out on the prowl
As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself
Well, don’t get lonely now
And dry your whining eyes
I’m just roaming for the moment
Sleazin’ my back yard so don’t get so uptight
you been thinking about ditching me
No time to search the world around
Cause you know where I’ll be found
When I come around
I heard it all before
So don’t knock down my door
I’m a loser and a user so I don’t need no accuser
to try and slag me down because I know you’re right
So go do what you like
Make sure you do it wise
You may find out that your self-doubt means nothing
was ever there
You can’t go forcing something if it’s just
not right