"Nothing last forever...so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off and avoid the bullshits."

Thursday, November 29, 2007

a short vacation

i wasn't feeling well last week due to some constant stomach ache so I've decided to give myself a break. yes indeed i was able to give myself a short vacation last week. I went to hell, yes HELL...the devil's place. i was able to met a lot of fucking people during my stay. i wasn't expecting to be pampered though...what could you expect, that wasn't heaven anyway. i was in deep shit, badly beaten and deeply hurt...the owner of that place has been a friend for quite sometime now. meantime I am back on earth and feeling well.


Friday, November 23, 2007

yet another reason...

this is really, really great, i guess i've found another reason to smile today...although it is still unclear but one thing's for sure it has given me yet another reason to live. sh*t, life sometimes really rockz!!!


DEATH...such a sweet escape!

i felt really great last night, I was on a bus on my way home when I started thinking... what if I am going to meet Mr. Death tonight...am I prepared for it? I've checked myself and I was so damned amazed by what I've discovered...sh*t I am no longer afraid to die, I have even prayed for it last night, though I was not able to finish my prayer because of the fact that I don't wanna cause hassle to those people on that bus. I've come to a realization that I am no longer petrified, scared of dying. Come to think of it...what if you're going to hire someone to kill you, would that still be suicide?...whatever.... I'm just glad that at this point in time I have come to appreciate Death! I look at death right now as an art, a painting for example...and I wanted mine to be drawn using water colors. cool!

The only people who fear death are those with regrets.


Thursday, November 22, 2007

out of my head

Sometimes I feel like I am drunk behind the wheel. The wheel of prosperity however it may roll. Give it a spin see if you can somehow factor in, you know there's always more than one way to say exactly what you mean to say. Was I out of my head? was I out of my mind? How could I have ever been so blind? I was waiting for an indication it was hard to find. dont matter what I say only what I do I never mean to do bad things to you, so quiet but I finally woke up, if youre sad then its time you spoke up too. -fastball-


an award

got this award from Webslave...yes from jorj! thanks a lot jorj. well the sole purpose of this blog anyways is for me to let my feelings out, so that i won't be hurting alone...hehehe. i don't even mind having no visitor at all, i don't wanna be famous anyway. and my life's not that interesting too, it's full of shit and it suckz...lolx.
thanks again jorj!

Being happy does not mean that everything is perfect, it means that you've decided to see life beyond imperfections. So I don't wanna say that I am happy because everything is alright. i am happy because everyhing sucks but I am more than fine. hell yeah!- mayang-


Wednesday, November 21, 2007


here i am again feeling so sad and alone...i really don't know why most of the time i really do feel this way. family's ok, friends are fine...although lovelife is zero...but wait, is it because of that factor?...well i don't think so. it is just that i don't feel like i belong in this world sometimes. i really hate myself sometimes, i don't even know why i feel like crying while doing this. wow! was it because i've seen the man that i love getting too close to another woman or was it because of the fact that i hate the chair that i am using today, funny as i may say but i really feel like crying. damn!


absolutely not perfect...just real!

i can't be a dummy if i know deep within me i'm real...yet some people may misunderstood me, don't recognize my existence, and don't even bother to take a simple glimpse of my worth but this is what i want to say...what you see is what you get, judge me? well it depends on what you see but knowing me? is your creativity to look deeper, peel whatever cover you could see...coz' deep within me is what makes me human, not perfect, just the real one!


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

so sick and tired of being sick and tired

well i'm feelin' tired today and awfully sick, i don't even feel like going to work. my head is aching like hell eventhough i already took some med. this morning I was thinking about marvin, yes the guy from my marvin the martian post. I was thinking what if i didn't became a stupid bitch at those times when we were still together then may be, i guess may be he's still mine up to this day. but i know i can't turn back time. He was the very reason why i ruined my life seven years ago. I thought losing him would be my end...end...end. then i started to forgot about everything that matters to me, i became drunk almost always, stoned at times and yes I was able to forgot about myself but not about marvin. I forgot how to love myself because i became so busy occupying myself with so many things so as i could forget him but i wasn't able to reach my goal. I woke up one day and found out that my life's already a hell of a mess. I've been living in hell for a couple of years I guess. then i said to myself that i really need to fix this broken life, if not whole even a part of it. so i've changed some things but one thing's for sure he remains to be a part of me.


Monday, November 19, 2007

taxi driver from hell

November 13, 2007 that was early in the morning when I rode a taxi from South Bus Terminal going to Gorordo because we (jorj, khid and I) have to see the dentist for a cleaning session. I was late for our meeting that's the reason why I've chose taxi over jeepney. Then I met manong the driver, who was at first I thought was a very reasonable man but then again I was wrong. manong the driver started talking about nasty things like: if my boyfriend already asked me to have sex with him. and he even insisted on getting my number so that he could call me. and he also asked me if I could consider him as my boyfriend...the nerve! I consider that driver as a very, very, very DIRTY OLD MAN...


Tuesday, November 13, 2007

butt spell

yes i did butt-spell out my own name (L-O-U-R-E-N-A) yesterday in front of so many people and that was my first time. everyone (from the team except mama chuvs of course) got the chance to do the butt spell though, so there's nothing to be ashamed of. actually it was a punishment...a sweet punishment as i may call it because it was fun. simply fun!


Friday, November 9, 2007



Life is one hell of a party, it ain't that boring but it still suckz!

- mayang-

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
in an attractive and well preserved body; better to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!!"


Thursday, November 8, 2007

goin' crazy

Ever since the day you ran away and left me lonely and cold, my life just hasn't been the same. When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go, I just broke down. Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice, cause the feeling that I feel within, no other man would ever make me feel so right. It's nice to smile when I get your phone call in mind, but I'd rather have you here with me right next to me, I miss the way you hold me tight.

I'll tell you what I feel from the moment that I meet you it was so damn real, my heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak, can't believe I feel so weak. Tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me and you love me. I'll be around waiting for you, put it down, be the woman for you. I'm fallen so deep for you, I'm crazy over you.
I'm callin' out to you what am I gonna do, it's true, I'm not frontin.

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch. I never thought that I could ever love a man so much. I gotta let you know, I think that we are destiny.
For you, I'd cross the world.
For you, I'd do anything.


Tuesday, November 6, 2007

S-T-U-C-K and alone

i don't know why i'm feeling like this today, suddenly I said to my self that I'm going to leave this life. All of a sudden I wanted to leave everything behind. I don't know why, i feel so incomplete...yah...something's missing and I am going to find that missing piece. Oh! may be the reason why I'm feeling like this... is because everybody's leaving. For Gods sake I just hate 'Goodbyes', eventhough it is temporary. I don't think it's for me. Come to think of it, my bestfriend Rosanna is currently spending her sweetlife in Bohol. my other bestfriend/drinking buddy John is in Manila...i just feel so alone these days. I don't even have someone who can hang-out with me just to watch my favorite movie or eat my favorite halo-halo. Gosh, everybody's busy. My mothersucker Ladin is sooooo busy with her career and her lovelife too. Angie on the other hand is in Mandaue and is also working her ass out just to have a nice career. and also Desa, a system admin at a certain clinic uptown...she's busy too. Guess I am S-T-U-C-K...and alone!


Monday, November 5, 2007

I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

got this from the internet, and after reading it I've said to myself this one's made for me...

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch. Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that! So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every
ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything


Friday, November 2, 2007

this guy rocks...

after the heartbreak that I've experienced recently, guess here I am again...loving without expecting that someone to love me in return. i am blogging today about this someone who usually makes my heart beat twice as fast as it should be. i just love the way he smile eventhough it isn't for me...I kinda seem to love his t-shirts and his sneakers too (hehehe). Well, the fact still remains...he can never be mine (he is taken).

guess i'll just have to be contented seeing him around once in a while.

There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how.
Because maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me ? ...WonderWAll by Oasis


Thursday, November 1, 2007

8 things that will heal my broken heart

Breaking up is never fun. The end of a relationship means the beginning of a period of mourning and healing for both people. If the break up was mutual both people will experience a period of adjustment where they are getting used to no longer being together. If the break up was not mutual the person who ended things may be dealing with guilt and feelings that they may have made a mistake. The person being broken up with will definitely have to adjust, first to being rejected and second to life without somebody they still care for. How do you get through those first few weeks? Here we list eight essential things everybody must do in the early days of a break up to let the healing begin.

1. Avoid the former love. Yes, avoid. No, this isn’t being immature. Seeing your former flame can bring out emotions and may cause you do to or say something you will regret. In the first few weeks the best thing you can do for yourself is not be where you know they will be.

2. Talk out your feelings with close friends. Get everything out so that you won’t hold it inside. Your friends may get sick of hearing you talk about the situation but you need to let out all your feelings and thoughts or they may come back to bite you later.

3. Cry if you want to. It’s OK to cry over a loss. Don’t hold back, let the tears roll just do it in a safe and private place where it is unlikely to get back to your ex. You don’t want your tears to be used as a guilt trip. Their purpose is to cleanse you of any pain not make your lover come back.

4. Let go of mementos. Put away or give away anything and everything that reminds you of the relationship. Hide them out of sight so they will be out of mind until you are able to remember the relationship without longing for it to still be going strong.

5. Don’t slip up and get together with your ex. When you are feeling sad or missing a relationship it can be very easy to fall back in to the arms of your ex but DO NOT DO THIS. This will only set you back and let’s face it, if things ended the relationship wasn’t perfect to begin with so why would you want to rekindle things?

6. Focus on all the things about your ex that drove you crazy, turned you off, or that you just plain found annoying. Think about these things often and replay them in your mind over and over. Dwell on them. It will make you feel better to remember that your former flame was not perfect and that there are things you won’t really miss.

7. Think about the mean, cruel or rude things your ex may have done in your relationship. Really give these things play in your memory. Remind yourself that somebody who truly cared for you would not have done such thoughtless things and tell yourself (over and over) that you are better off without that kind of ego crushing behavior in your life.

8. Maintain a strict no contact policy and stick with it. Don’t pass notes through friends. Don’t make any calls. Stay away from instant messaging or texting on your cell. Just don’t contact your ex until you are totally and completely sure you no longer want to be with him or her. It is the only way.

Mending a broken heart is not easy but it can be done. Guess I will just stick to the game plan outlined above and before I know it I’ll be just fine.



(1:46 am), i am writing something about BOS (while there’s not much calls). He was one of my exe’s, a very funny and a happy go lucky guy. I used to call him ‘my skater boy’, because he loves to skates of course and he used to call me his ‘princez’ for no reason at all (hahaha). Bos also used to smoke dope and get stoned most of the time….(lol). He is full of dreams and even on our teenage days he is already running their family’s business (I used to be his secretary at those times…hehehe). We have a lot of things in common like the kind of music that he listens to, the sneakers that he loves, food that he usually cooked for me, magazines, CD’s, balut, batchoy, green mangga and a lot of other things. He used to go to some underground gig with some punk rock band playing their music till dawn. I’ve learned a lot of lessons about life from him. I considered him to be the most unbelievable person that I’ve ever met. The last time i’ve heard from Bos was that he was already married to his own cousin and that he already has a very cute baby boy. Well, of course I am happy for him. I received a text message from him one day, on his message he said that he is so proud of me. I don’t know what’s with that but I feel so great that day. I’m just glad that I am appreciated. thanks a lot bos.


Marvin the Martian

today is marvin’s birthday. Yes, I do remember it. marvin was my 7th boyfriend. It has been 8 years since we broke up, but up to this very day I dont think i’ve move on. I think I am trap in my past and it keeps on haunting me (sounds like a song…hehehe). Yah, but it’s true, up to this day I still wanted to be his girl though I know that it is no longer possible and it will never be. Vintoy and I are still friends inspite of what happened and eventhough I know his girlfriend hated me.

Marvin d martian


a tribute to my fave band

Green Day is a pop punk band consisting of Billie Joe Armstrong (lead vocals, guitar), Mike Dirnt (bass) (born Michael Ryan Pritchard), and TrĂ© Cool (drummer) (born Frank Edwin Wright III). I just love this band since I was in elementary where I remember singing ‘Basket Case’ like crazy. The song is about anxiety attacks and a feeling that you are going crazy….well the reason why I love this song might be that I felt a little bit crazy way back then. Billy Joe suffered from various panic disorders while he was growing up. This song stereotypes the whole condition of paranoia and compares it to being stoned.

A basket case is slang for an emotionally unstable, dysfunctional or completely useless person. Originally, the word referred to an amputee, especially a soldier, who had lost all 4 limbs; it was coined during World War I.

Pop rocks and Coke is another from Greenday that I also love, I think this song is about being there for someone…and the title is kinda a joke, because it could mean being dependent on drugs too :P But, I’m going to live in my own little dreamworld and pretend it is about the first meaning, coz it’s such a sweet song :)

And the best song of all: When I come around

I heard you crying loud,
all the way across town
You’ve been searching for that someone,
and it’s me out on the prowl
As you sit around feeling sorry for yourself
Well, don’t get lonely now
And dry your whining eyes
I’m just roaming for the moment
Sleazin’ my back yard so don’t get so uptight
you been thinking about ditching me

No time to search the world around
Cause you know where I’ll be found
When I come around

I heard it all before
So don’t knock down my door
I’m a loser and a user so I don’t need no accuser
to try and slag me down because I know you’re right
So go do what you like
Make sure you do it wise
You may find out that your self-doubt means nothing
was ever there

You can’t go forcing something if it’s just
not right