hoping that santa is a blogger too

dear santa,

when i was a child i would always hang my socks on the stairs of my lolo and lola's house during christmas eve, hoping to see lots of chocolates the next day i woke up. also days before christmas my mama would always asked us to write letters for our wishes and it has been addressed to you, i just don't know if it has really been sent. it has always been like that and i have always believed that it was you, until i caught the culprits. it was my lola and my mama...how sweet of them to do that. my lola already passed away 8 years ago. i've stopped hanging socks and at some point in my life i've stopped believing in you.

i am now 24, i've graduated from college, got a job, been through a lot of failed relationships and here i am writing this letter to you. i would love to believe that i can still be a child again and i can still write you a letter of my wishes for this christmas. but this time i will no longer ask for a barbie doll or a life size doll that can dance. though my wishes are no longer that simple, im still hoping you'll give it a chance (this is me being optimistic).

below are the list of my wishes for this christmas:
-i wish for you to take out the gland on my eyes that releases water (i don't know what it's called and wasn't able to google it)... though crying can be a relief at times but i've already grown tired of it

-don't know if this is possible but i would love to have a heart of steel. one which can no longer feel anything.

-i wanted to die when i reach 35, growing old is just not for me, so so not for me and i still don't have the reason why i should grow that old

if the above wishes are not valid then how bout a man instead, who will accept and love me for who i am. someone who's brave enough to love me and will take care of me...naahhhh sound so boring...hehehe...

i was just kidding, candies and chocolates will still do but it would also be nice if it is with an Aston Martin Vanquish...lol.

kinda naughty but still nice,
maeyang


im hoping that santa is also into blogging and hopefully would happen to stumble upon this post.

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per request

this is a text message from warren. warren by the way is my soon to be brother-in-law and
the soon to be daddy of my younger sister's baby.

here's the text message i received from him last October 19, 2008 at exactly 2:35 in the afternoon.

"the best part of being in love is when you just love a person and be happy about it, even if that person can never be yours, even if you know that it can't last forever! that's the true essence of love. it's not about winning someone. it's not about owning a relationship. it's just about being happy coz you know you've loved someone. it's about being guiltless coz you know you didn't take away someone from anybody. you just love and love unselfishly".

yeah, i know it's shitty, but damn...it's worth it!

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chasing amy

I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are.

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stop

stop (stp)
v. stopped, stop·ping, stops
v.intr.
1. To cease moving, progressing, acting, or operating; come to a halt
2. To put an end to what one is doing; cease

i never consider the word 'stop' to be such a lonely word nor did i expect it to be a word that i am going to hate for the rest of my senseless life. not until today...this word just f*cks everything up. this damn word made me cry for several hours, it didn't made me sleep, it took out the smile on my face and i can't even get this f*cking word out of my stupid head. i'm currently in this f*uckin 'stop' mode and i don't know if can start all over again. damn it, this word sucks. arrrgghhh!

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