i really didn't mean to...

finally I've decided to write something about what's happening to me lately, it has been a long time...i know. lately I've discovered that i could have the guts to tell someone what i feel though i know that he will never ever feel the same. hearing those words coming straight from him made me sick (y'all know what i mean). i never thought that the feeling of being rejected could be this painful but then again i have to deal with it.

Did i made it sound like he's a bad person? No, i really don't think he is, though we usually argue about it. I know his heart is made of steel but then again i still believe that there's more to that hard shell than what my eyes can see. After all, I've fallen in love with him in the first place. I have this list that goes on like forever for things that i love about him. things like his shirt, his ears, his slippers, shoes, cap, his hair, the way he drinks his coke, the way he puffed his cigarette, the way he sings and even the way he dance, the way he talk and the list goes on...

i believe he's a blessing in disguise though, for he made me realized something. He made me realized that jumping into a relationship is really not a good idea (not at all), come to think of it I've been through a lot of failed relationships too. the good thing about what happened is that I've learned to love without expecting an inch of love in return and it feels good, I've come to enjoy life a little bit more, I've learned to appreciate all of the pain that the world is causing me. I'm just hoping that he'll forgive me, for i really didn't mean to fall.