i'm on BLOG LEAVE!

i don't know for how long and i don't know if i will be able to write again.

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a kid again

woke up today and i just wanted to be a kid again. i wanted to skip instead of walk. i wanted to go to the beach and collect sea shells or perhaps go to a book store and start collecting sweet smelling stationery with cute colored cartoons on it. i wanna play "hopscotch" or "mother may i?" like i always do when i was younger. i badly miss the cotton candy outside of school when i was in elementary. and yes i'm planning on doing some of the things that i usually do when life was still as easy as 1-2-3. like eating ice cream before my meal. screaming at the top of my lungs. watching cartoons at 11pm when there's no class on the next day. play millionaires game like crazy. sleep with a stuff toy beside me (my blue dolphin will do...lol). i wanna read jughead's comic books all over again. i wanna draw/sketch garfield in an entire notebook and color it with colours that you coudn't have imagine. cut out paper dolls and make cute dresses for her. a lot of things that i wanna do, so let me start this by eating a strawberry flavoured lollipop and embracing this child in me. *wink (check my old school pic...hehe)

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chocolate, probably better than sex

here's the story behind the title: i've joined a search for ms. "something" last friday the 13th, just this month. all of the contestants (there were ten of us) were asked a total of ten questions each. one of the question as i've remembered it, was:

"if you were an ice cream what flavor would you be and why?"

other contestants answered strawberry, rocky road etc. but i'm not satisfied with their reasons why. though i admit that i love strawberry flavored ice cream, it's just that i don't think it would do me any justice (kidding). so i was thinking, if i were an ice cream what flavor would i be and why? first thing comes to mind was the last ice cream that i've eaten late last month. that was after an early drinking session when frenk (my number 1 fan...lol) and i went to sm. frenk bought a pair of sandals and i bought a pair of flip flops. just before we went home i bought a cupful of chocolate truffle ice cream from Gelatissimo in SM Cebu (picture above). just tasted heaven from a little cup (this is me exaggerating...lol). going back to the search, after the question has been thrown at me and after my number has been called i immediately answered:

"if i were an ice cream i would be a chocolate truffle... simply because it is better than sex"

audience screamed as though they're on a tv show, so i stop and asked myself: was that my serious answer to that question? or was it just that i wanna give them a good show? well, probably chocolate is really better than sex but it might also be that i just wanna give them a good laugh. that's all!

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fruitcake

I was on a bus about 6:20 pm yesterday, a very loud radio has been turned on and a dj on a very popular station was blabbing about something, until i heard him said "since there are only 21 days left before christmas then I am going to play a christmas song". Christmas song indeed, it was Fruitcake by Eraserheads.Wow, it was like I am in another place in time...back when I was still young, when painful heartaches are just part of my nightmare and didn't really exist in real life. I just love those days, where I could play all day and didn't have to think of what am I going to eat for dinner or if someones mad at me. I guess I have grown a lot these past years, but i didn't grow older...only wiser, though I still act childish at times, well may be it is because of the fact that I wanted to be a child again. i love my childhood years, those were the years spent playing, learning and growing. I have all of these thoughts in mind as Ely keeps on singing on the background.

Take a bite it's alright. There's some brandy and star margarine to make it bright. Take a bite it's alright. A little lovin' and some fruit to bake, Life is a piece of cake. - Ely of E'heads

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a short vacation

i wasn't feeling well last week due to some constant stomach ache so I've decided to give myself a break. yes indeed i was able to give myself a short vacation last week. I went to hell, yes HELL...the devil's place. i was able to met a lot of fucking people during my stay. i wasn't expecting to be pampered though...what could you expect, that wasn't heaven anyway. i was in deep shit, badly beaten and deeply hurt...the owner of that place has been a friend for quite sometime now. meantime I am back on earth and feeling well.

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again?

here i am again feeling so sad and alone...i really don't know why most of the time i really do feel this way. family's ok, friends are fine...although lovelife is zero...but wait, is it because of that factor?...well i don't think so. it is just that i don't feel like i belong in this world sometimes. i really hate myself sometimes, i don't even know why i feel like crying while doing this. wow! was it because i've seen the man that i love getting too close to another woman or was it because of the fact that i hate the chair that i am using today, funny as i may say but i really feel like crying. damn!

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absolutely not perfect...just real!

i can't be a dummy if i know deep within me i'm real...yet some people may misunderstood me, don't recognize my existence, and don't even bother to take a simple glimpse of my worth but this is what i want to say...what you see is what you get, judge me? well it depends on what you see but knowing me? is your creativity to look deeper, peel whatever cover you could see...coz' deep within me is what makes me human, not perfect, just the real one!

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so sick and tired of being sick and tired

well i'm feelin' tired today and awfully sick, i don't even feel like going to work. my head is aching like hell eventhough i already took some med. this morning I was thinking about marvin, yes the guy from my marvin the martian post. I was thinking what if i didn't became a stupid bitch at those times when we were still together then may be, i guess may be he's still mine up to this day. but i know i can't turn back time. He was the very reason why i ruined my life seven years ago. I thought losing him would be my end...end...end. then i started to forgot about everything that matters to me, i became drunk almost always, stoned at times and yes I was able to forgot about myself but not about marvin. I forgot how to love myself because i became so busy occupying myself with so many things so as i could forget him but i wasn't able to reach my goal. I woke up one day and found out that my life's already a hell of a mess. I've been living in hell for a couple of years I guess. then i said to myself that i really need to fix this broken life, if not whole even a part of it. so i've changed some things but one thing's for sure he remains to be a part of me.

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taxi driver from hell

November 13, 2007 that was early in the morning when I rode a taxi from South Bus Terminal going to Gorordo because we (jorj, khid and I) have to see the dentist for a cleaning session. I was late for our meeting that's the reason why I've chose taxi over jeepney. Then I met manong the driver, who was at first I thought was a very reasonable man but then again I was wrong. manong the driver started talking about nasty things like: if my boyfriend already asked me to have sex with him. and he even insisted on getting my number so that he could call me. and he also asked me if I could consider him as my boyfriend...the nerve! I consider that driver as a very, very, very DIRTY OLD MAN...

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